The McGriddle

If you’ve never heard of Tucker Max, I’d recommend you check out his website. The guy is a hilarious asshole with a lot of great stories to tell. I saw this conversation regarding McDonald’s there:

SlingBlade: “I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake of the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them to your local eater where whatever ghetto Bastard cook your McDonald’s has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously over-matched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait — they didn’t add … yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrapped it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them…the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.”

Tucker: “So you like them?”

SlingBlade: “If you EVER speak ill of the McGriddle again I will personally force-feed you one while I fuck you in the butt using the wrapper as a condom and then donkey punch you when the infused syrup nuggets explode in your mouth.”

Zack Morris is Back!

So usually I find the Jimmy Fallon show really um… unfunny. But he does have an epic quest to reunite the cast of Saved by the Bell, and that’s something I think we can all get behind. Check out the return of Zack Morris below.

Blow Kisses, Not Coke

While I do go out for a drink now and then, I am not into drugs nor do I find it attractive when people gloat on and on about drugs, or how completely shitfaced they got the other night or any of that. That being said, I do find this iPhone app mildly amusing. I am somewhat surprised Apple has let this one slide, seeing as though they’ve been pretty authoritarian in preventing questionable apps from making it onto their device.

The iSnort:

Japanese Game Shows

If there’s one thing Japan has brought us apart from delicious food, ninjas and dvd players, it is some of the funniest gameshows ever.  While we in America are stuck with drivel like American Idol or Who Wants to be a Millionaire, they get gameshows like this:

Human Slip N Slide:

Don’t Ram the Boobs:

He’s a loser. But isn’t he also a winner?